And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)

ROMANS 8:18

.los angeles. ca.

image

God spoke to me today through ptr. Insong’s message at church. Last Friday, I lost a 6week fetus from my womb. According to studies, 10-25% of pregnancies result in miscarriage. Where I am, it is normal. The shock I felt upon seeing bright red blood coming from me that morning was only a statistic. It happens. Move one.

How heartless.

The baby was 34 weeks away from being born and being held in my arms. People can say it is better than losing the baby just before delivery. Or even after… But all the same, it was painful. Those weeks of anticipation and dreaming and planning… all lost.

But I clung on to God, and in His grace and glory, I am able to accept what happened. And through this morning’s message, I was reassured that the pain I felt is never comparable to the joy that is in store for me and my family. In God’s embrace I rest. Instead of feeling defeated, I will rejoice for his grander plan.

* * * * * * *

After telling my 5yo daughter of what happened, she gave me a pat on the back and said, “Ok lang mommy andito naman ako para sayo saka kay daddy.” (It’s ok mommy, I’m here for you and for daddy)

Thank you Lord for this beautiful and smart daughter. I know someday you will grant her wish to be an “Ate” (older sister). In Your time.

* * * * * * *

I never really meant to post this. But God gave me a burden to share his message… that He is really bigger than all our problems. This is not about me, my pain, my loss. This is about His faithfulness and His promises.

And I’m actually doing ok now. Excited even for His plans.

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March 23, 2014 Posted by | family, Jesus, life, pregnancy | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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