And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)



Breathing life into this dying art of letterwriting.

So glad I’m able to have Tala experience writing and airmailing letters to daddy who’s away for 2 months… and without skype/text messaging and with only a few sporadic phone calls, this is our only regular means of communication. 🙂

I may be tech-savvy but I am really old school. I like the old ways. I love writing. I love handwritten notes or letters. I love giving and receiving folded notes or mailed letters. Nothing beats the way thoughts & feelings are shared and received through handwritten words. There’s something intimate and personal about it. There are things you cannot express through spoken words that can only be thoughtfully poured out on a piece of paper… and there are things too that are not rightfully expressed through typed words because, believe it or not, your handwriting says a lot about you and about your mood at the moment.

It’s so sad to realize that in the future, there may be kids who will never get to experience this. It’s bad that personal interactions are slowly diminishing, it’s worse because kids now value convenience and instant gratification. They would rather LOL than really laugh out loud. It’s a different world out there now. 😦

Anyway, I resolve to keep this art. I will keep on sending airmails to my husband and daughter even if we are together. I will keep on writing notes on stickies if I just want to say how much I love them, or just let them know that I thought of them… because I believe these can also be a testament of sorts to who and what we are… little pieces of memories of how we were so open, joyful, vulnerable, passionate and loving at a particular moment… that we took time to immortalize it… And then these papers will be kept in a safe box and not in cyberspace or a cellphone SD card.


May 2, 2014 Posted by | Blogroll, family, life, writing | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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September 11, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, books, Philippine Allstars, writing | Enter your password to view comments.



I’ve stumbled upon this post about keeping tab of books read (The problem with writing …) & it made me remember how I have kept track of books I’ve read (& had backlogged) back in the days when all I ever did was dance & read/write (none of those managing a group, doing a lot of shows, training for battles, raising a kid & a boyfriend–hehe!–yet). I would devour words & letters & immortalize them in my Stradmore notebooks. I had 4 of them & brought only the first 2 here in the US. Rummaging through them is like walking down memory lane. It’s different from reading a journal/diary coz it’s like a scrapbook of all things that had mattered to me back then… when I had all the luxury of time to bring together all those notes & mementos that aided in my soul searching. And back when online blogging/scrapbooking wasn’t around yet.

My 1st & 2nd Stradmore notebooks. These are more valuable to me than my laptop.

Collage. Yes I had a huge crush on Joshua Jackson (Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey) & Rachael Leigh Cook. 😉

Doodles from old notebooks.

Newspaper cut-outs about the environment. (See how old those are!) LOVE MOTHER EARTH. 🙂

Tori Amos’ Introduction for one of Gaiman’s books.

A picture of the drawings on my wall. (“Everybody tells tales. It’s just the dead talk more quietly than other people.”–Death)

I forgot where I first saw this. I’ve been researching for whoever said these words, but for naught. (If anyone could tell me who quoted this, it’d be awesome!)

“There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever.” –Ally McBeal

Some reads from an old friend Celine E. 🙂

Some of my favorited quotes.

Kahlil Gibran

Left-hand writing & drawing. (I am a righty)

I’ve always loved writing in different directions.

A collection of Conrado de Quiros’ column from the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

For the record: I was a latebloomer in both dance & writing. Here was a letter I sent, when I was 24, to “Ask Aunt Webby” about learning how to write which was published on Pacific’s site. Hahaha! And so from there, I bought books & magazines about fiction & scriptwriting… and was able to write a few. :p

Even then, I have hated technology.

Why? According to my younger self:
–coz of things that are in the brink of extinction, [being]vintage, antique, relic, fossils.
–you will never appreciate an antique ebook (I have foreseen ebooks 12 years ago!). so what if your ebook has been in your hard drive since 1998?
–will your cellphone have a higher value in 5 years?
–can you sell your PS2 for P24,000 next year?
–can you say “She has aged gracefully” to a surgically beautiful woman?

History of Literature, a lecture from my friend Che

Random fact: I had a huge high school crush on Gio Alvarez & I have kept his autograph… from 16 years ago! 🙂

My college friend, Marla, introduced me to the greatest poet of all time, Pablo Neruda. She gave me this English copy of Puedo Escribir & I have saved it both in my notebook & in my memory.


The other great MJ in our lives: Michael Jordan 🙂

Anne Rice’s “Memnoch” is the first book I’ve read where I’ve jotted down in my notebook all my favorite passages.

Notes from Paolo Coelho’s “The Alchemist”

Notes from classic literatures like “Catcher in the Rye” by JD Salinger

Notes on Alan Lightman’s “Einstein’s Dreams”

…of course, Calvin & Hobbes!

List of some of the books I’ve read.

A poem written by my soul bro, Choie Martinez.

I collected short stories about Unicorns, & this is one of my favorites.

One of my writing exercises! And “Power of 2” guitar chords above. 🙂

A newspaper article about Neil Gaiman coming to the Philippines! (Yes I was subscribed to Inquirer before. I would read every issue from cover to cover.)

I write everywhere. I had a lot of these little notes tucked inside.

I love learning different languages & dialects!

Notes from one of the books that kind of defined me back then.

I love this article from Isagani Cruz, “Why Write Poetry?” This is one of the reasons why I wanted to write all the way to old age.

I’ve also done some research on dance! How studious! Haha!

There are still sooo much in those notebooks like quotes from movies I’ve watched, song lyrics, stories or ideas for novel I dreamed of writing, birthdays, even names of every student I have ever taught! Oh my, was I a writing addict… It’s so sad that Facebook, iphones or well, any other technological advancements have almost taken that away from me… or from the youth for that matter. They say that, hey this is the kind of generation that they were born to. They just gotta put up with that. But I believe it’s still up to the parents. They can balance it out–they could allow the kids to have access to what’s right there in front of them, and then expose them, too, to things like handwriting, pastel coloring, climbing trees, making bubbles from soap & gumamela, reading newspapers, books, (list goes on, depending on your background). 😛

Anyway, I am so excited about making more Stradmore memories now that I have more time to write (pen-&-paper-write) here in the ‘Merica. And when Tala grows older, I will inspire her to do the same (which is not very far from happening as I see her more inclined to hold a pen/paint brush than an iphone now)

And as for keeping track of books read… I can finally get back to it. Though, it is so unfortunate that I have left a huge backlog of books back in Manila coz I couldn’t bring them with me. Oh well, I can always read them when & if I decide to settle down there.

March 31, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, interests, writing | , , | 6 Comments



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It’s so strange how sometimes you look back & remember yourself from before & you’d not recognize it, not even if people tell you how you did this or that… And you’d realize that who you used to look at in the mirror is such a different person from the one you’re looking at now. There may be things that has never changed like the way she walks, the way she’d nip at her fingers when she’s lost, or the way she’d laugh at herself when she makes little mistakes. These things can still be seen in those eyes, no matter how many wrinkles have lined up in those corners.

Sometimes it wraps you in melancholy & dread how things go by so fast, & you’d ask where has the time gone by? But if you close your eyes and think of who you really are, you’d realize that you’ve had the same dreams as that person you used be.

Coz dreams are free. And when you get to the bottom of it all, simple dreams are what we were and will always be made of.

March 13, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, introspect, ruminations, writing | | Leave a comment



Day 5 – Your Definition of Love *

backdropped by magnificent Bellagio (Las Vegas)

You know how when you were younger, you were so fearless & you lived your life like there’s no tomorrow? That you lived for the ‘here & now’ & all you thought about was your own survival & pleasure? …And then when someone comes into your life, all you’ve ever thought about life changes, and that hedonism ends & every fear that you never thought existed introduces itself to you …And that no matter how hard you try to to explain it you just can’t at all. That’s it. Love is T… & everything that comes with it. 🙂


* lagged with my writing assignment :p but will continue anyway. 🙂

February 25, 2011 Posted by | writing | Leave a comment

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January 24, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, interests, survey, writing | Enter your password to view comments.


.marikina city.philippines.

Assignment: 30 Days of Writing

My new friend Wawo tagged me on her FB note about writing for 30 straight days & I took it upon myself to accept this challenge. I’ve done this before when I started loving written words, back when I still had the luxury of time… But now, since I’m leaving and all, and in the middle of the peak-season for gigs/shows, I am taking this challenge to see if I could even find time to write & well, just for the heck of it! 😉 But I will be good to myself. I will make me write on my new journal (Chelo’s gift from our Kris Kringle which I was supposed to purchase at Fully Booked a few minutes before she bought it!–We were at the Funk for Life event & I was eyeing it already; if it was not for Tala who said “Mommy, weewee,” I would’ve bought it!) since I cannot go online to write everyday. 🙂 But I will post some entries when I have time.

January 20, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, writing | 2 Comments



(Feel ko mag-Tagalog kapag nasa US. )

Gusto ko makatanggap ng sulat. Yung snailmail. Kaya lang wala naman may alam ng address ko kundi pamilya ko at ang Smart Telecom na nagpapadala sakin ng bill buwan buwan hahaha. Pero kahit hindi na snailmail. Basta sulat. Sulat-kamay. Mga ideya o mensahe na ipararating sakin sa pamamagitan ng sulat kamay.

Ang romantiko ng ideya no? Kaya lang lipas na ang ganun e.

Tila ata ang mga romantiko ay lumilipas. Kasi kung iisipin mo, ano’ng romatiko sa i love you na pinadala sa pamamagitan ng text? Maliban na lang kung isang tila makata ang mahal mo at sobrang galing nya bumuo ng diwa sa pamamagitan ng salita, aba pwede ka matunaw! Pero tila madalang ako makakita o makaranas talaga ng mga makalumang (!) red roses at greeting cards. Pag tinopak lang siguro ang mga tao. Kasi sa sobra fast-paced ng buhay ngayon, nagiging instant na lang lahat. Instant message, instant mami, instant padala, instant gratification hahaha! … Magpadala ka nlang ng litrato ng bulaklak, katumbas na daw yun ng pagsisikap sa pagbibigay ng totoong mabangong buhay na bulaklak. Hahaha grabe.

Mabuti’t naabutan ko pa ang letter-writing bago ito naging extinct. Uso pa kaya sa St. Scho yun ngayon? Yung sulatan kahit araw araw naman kayo nagkikita at oras oras naman kayo magkausap hahaha! Tapos pagalingan at creative pa ng pagtupi! Nahahasa kami noon sa origami kasi ang stationery tinutupi na hugis diamond o puso o star o boomerang o kahit ano pa ang maisip mo. Ang galing ng kabataan noon!  Napagunita tuloy ako, tila isang malaking basket ng mga sulat ang naipon ko. Naitabi ko pa. Basahin ko kaya ulit ang mga yun. Para lang maranasan ko ulit ang magbasa ng sulat-kamay, hindi yung mga mensahe na nakukuha ko na lang sa mga inbox o comments page ko sa mga accounts ko internet.

Sa tingin ko, ang henerasyon ko ay medyo maswerte dahil nabuhay kami sa transition period ng makaluma at makabago. (Oo lahat naman naluluma e!) Ang ibig kong sabihin, naranasan namin ang mga bagay tulad ng malalaking cellphone, ang telebabad, ang pag-akyat sa puno, ang paglalaro ng habulan o patintero sa ilalim ng buwan, paggawa ng bula galing sa gumamela, ang kwaderno, ang lapis, ang pananaliksik sa silid-aklatan, ang mahabang pila kapag enrollment, ang 2R na litrato na laman ng mga makakapal na pitaka, ang tubig sa gripo na pwedeng inumin, ang diary, ang vinyl records at cassette tapes, ang pag-abang ng pelikula sa sinehan lang, ang pag-abang ng replays sa telebisyon, ang pamamasyal sa luneta (Oo, dati namamasyal pa kami dun at naglalaro pa ng badminton nina mommy at daddy!) at madami pang iba… At ngayon nararanasan din namin ang text, ang blogs, ang search engines, ang mineral water at energy drinks, ang friendster, ang facebook, ang email, ang laptop, ang Photoshop, ang Xbox, ang paglaro ng habulan sa internet o online games, ang ipod at pagdownload ng mga musika, ang dvds, ang mga series sa youtube, ang mga naglalakihang malls at madami pa ring iba.

May pros & cons pareho. Pero mas gusto ko talaga yung dati. Oo, old school talaga ako. Sa pakiramdam ko kasi’y mas buhay ako. Mas nakakalanghap ng hangin, mas nakakaamoy ng bulaklak, mas nakakapagrelax.

Parang wala na kasing pahirapan ngayon, madali na lang lahat.

Kung madali lahat ngayon, saan na kaya umeeffort ang mga tao?

Ah siguro sa mas “makabuluhang bagay”. Ano ba ang makabuluhan ngayon sa mga to? Alam ba nila?

Wish ko lang.

Change. Pagbabago. Yun lang ang permanent e, ika nga.

Lahat ba nakakahabol sa pagbabago?

Ay, parang ayoko maghabol.

Sakto na sa akin ang ganito, kung ano lang andyan, makikibagay ako pero hindi ako magpupumilit maging high-tech ang telepono ko, magkaroon ng SLR o mag-upgrade ng laptop ko. (Kung tutuusin, lahat ata ng gadgets ko libre o pamana lang. Hihihi!)

Hayaan ko nlang itong modernong pagbabago sa iba, sa anak ko.

Pero pag lumaki ang anak ko, susulatan ko sya. Magsusulatan kami.  Tama!

October 17, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, introspect, learn & unlearn, tagalog, writing | , , , , | 1 Comment


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