And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)

LOST IN NEWSFEEDS

Two years ago I was working the graveyard shift at a Bank in LA. One night, on my way to work, I saw by the entrance of the driveway going to our building a homeless man reading a book under a dimly lit post. It was such a beautiful sight. It stirred hope inside me for some reason.

Something like amidst all rush hours, instant noodles, online relationships or every other things brought about by this era, or the lack of them, this man still chose to have that seeming lost luxury o

My friend Kameko.

my friend Kameko

f feeding his mind or his soul. Like nothing else mattered. He could live without a roof above his head, or a metro card, or a cellphone. As long as he could have that moment alone. With his book. It had put this big smile on my face and it kept me awake at work all night.

I rarely see a sight like that nowadays. Last year, at a Culture Shock dance rehearsal, I l have seen one of my friends Kameko reading a book! It was just so refreshing coz barely anyone does that anymore, especially among the younger generations.

I have come to realize too that generally, people don’t know how to “tunganga” anymore. I can’t even find its direct translation in English. The only closest definitions are being idle or going inside your “nothing-box.” It’s like putting a car in neutral at a stop light. It is neither useful or useless. Just, well, idle. Saving gas… I barely see people doing that. You know when people are not sleeping or eating or having conversations, when there is that space of time in a day where nothing is expected of us, we are mostly bound to turn to our little gadgets and fill our brains with useless information or activities. Yes we are all likely to caress our phones first thing in the morning than caress our loved ones. We are more likely to

(c) photo from the internet.

photo from the internet

post thoughts or photos online than call our moms and ask “how are you?” and tell her our thoughts. We are more bound to read newsfeeds than books. We would rather slide “open” our iphones than go into our nothing-box (tunganga), get idle and be open to the energy required of the moment: which is to stay

still and just breathe, be thankful… and live. Just merely live. Mostly, I only see old people do that nowadays. Tunganga in the park, at a restaurant, at a bus stop. One time I did that in the lunch room and officemates started asking if I was ok. So I pulled out my phone and was forced to scan through my Instagram feeds.

Come on people. Masarap tumunganga. Try it.

Technology… Modern times… Actually it’s a catch-22. Living in this era is both blessing and bane. It is just up to us to draw the line. Sadly, most of us unconsciously become prisoners of these modern advancements. It is unthinkable to imagine how it is to live 50 years from now. I am curious. But I’m already grateful that I have witnessed and have lived to experience the transition of old to the new. Because I am able to appreciate… And longing for those old times, I know how better it is to raise a kid up in these times. I just hope she won’t get lost living among these modern tech-savvy kids.

Sigh.

Sometimes… No make that Most of the time, the best moments in our lives are  the ones spent away from our cellphones. The most postable moments in our lives are actually the ones that don’t make it in our newsfeeds.

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November 22, 2014 Posted by | books, learn & unlearn, life, people, ruminations | , , , , , | Leave a comment

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LIFE IS OK

.sylmar.california.usa

 

Sometimes, you don’t always get what you want. You just want to bury your head in the pillow, hide under the blanket as if it’s one big arm pulling you in for comfort. Sometimes all you want to do is scream, & throw things, like china, & get some kind of temporary thrill from watching them get smashed. But you still want to hide it, like under a loud music so that people won’t hear your cries. Sometimes things get out of hand. One time you are Ms Congeniality, & then Ms Cruella the next coz things get out of control & you just can’t do anything about it. People can just accept you being at your worst, or they can despise you. But then, that just tells you, like right in your face, that they are not your friends anymore. Or not at all from the start. Sometimes though, it’s ok to show the world that you are human. That you get hurt, too. Sometimes, it’s ok to miss the bus, be cheated at, stutter at an important public speech, forget someone’s name, sing out of tune, or with wrong lyrics, get lost, get drunk & say something stupid, accidentally walk in the men’s room, fall from your bed while you sleep, fail at a subject, get cut from an audition, be out-of-place at a party, be hated by an in-law, get your heart broken twice, or thrice, get laughed at, get sneered at, get frowned upon, in your face, or behind your back… It is really ok. Coz sometimes, real stories are stirred from all these realities that leave bruises & callouses in your spirit. And out of those are marks of victories at having overcome them. Albeit. All. Odds.

March 28, 2011 Posted by | learn & unlearn, people, ruminations | | 1 Comment

UNTAMED HORSE

.sylmar.california.usa

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It’s so strange how sometimes you look back & remember yourself from before & you’d not recognize it, not even if people tell you how you did this or that… And you’d realize that who you used to look at in the mirror is such a different person from the one you’re looking at now. There may be things that has never changed like the way she walks, the way she’d nip at her fingers when she’s lost, or the way she’d laugh at herself when she makes little mistakes. These things can still be seen in those eyes, no matter how many wrinkles have lined up in those corners.

Sometimes it wraps you in melancholy & dread how things go by so fast, & you’d ask where has the time gone by? But if you close your eyes and think of who you really are, you’d realize that you’ve had the same dreams as that person you used be.

Coz dreams are free. And when you get to the bottom of it all, simple dreams are what we were and will always be made of.

March 13, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, introspect, ruminations, writing | | Leave a comment

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WHAT I LEARNED WHILE IN CANADA

.toronto.canada.

 

* That I do not want to travel alone anymore. I don’t enjoy it like before. Or maybe it’s because I am not with THE people that I like anymore.

* That it is not an option for me to live here coz the place is so clean, so neat, the people so nice, the weather so cold. Yes, I thrive on the chaos & disorder of Manila.

* That I am still allergic to leeches. I wish they start sucking at their own blood.

* That whatever sh*t we are in, we can still give people what they want. I call it gift. I just hope these people realize it lest it be taken away from them.


				
                

June 27, 2010 Posted by | ruminations | Leave a comment

EH?

.marikina city.philippines.

 

Nakakirita manood ng news gabi-gabi. Politics has really turned into showbiz, ang taas ng entertainment value! Napapailing na lang ako at napapa-silent prayer, “God, please bless our country & its people. And please guide every Filipino to vote for the rightful leader next year.”

ch1

September 4, 2009 Posted by | ruminations | 1 Comment

   

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