And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)


Two years ago I was working the graveyard shift at a Bank in LA. One night, on my way to work, I saw by the entrance of the driveway going to our building a homeless man reading a book under a dimly lit post. It was such a beautiful sight. It stirred hope inside me for some reason.

Something like amidst all rush hours, instant noodles, online relationships or every other things brought about by this era, or the lack of them, this man still chose to have that seeming lost luxury o

My friend Kameko.

my friend Kameko

f feeding his mind or his soul. Like nothing else mattered. He could live without a roof above his head, or a metro card, or a cellphone. As long as he could have that moment alone. With his book. It had put this big smile on my face and it kept me awake at work all night.

I rarely see a sight like that nowadays. Last year, at a Culture Shock dance rehearsal, I l have seen one of my friends Kameko reading a book! It was just so refreshing coz barely anyone does that anymore, especially among the younger generations.

I have come to realize too that generally, people don’t know how to “tunganga” anymore. I can’t even find its direct translation in English. The only closest definitions are being idle or going inside your “nothing-box.” It’s like putting a car in neutral at a stop light. It is neither useful or useless. Just, well, idle. Saving gas… I barely see people doing that. You know when people are not sleeping or eating or having conversations, when there is that space of time in a day where nothing is expected of us, we are mostly bound to turn to our little gadgets and fill our brains with useless information or activities. Yes we are all likely to caress our phones first thing in the morning than caress our loved ones. We are more likely to

(c) photo from the internet.

photo from the internet

post thoughts or photos online than call our moms and ask “how are you?” and tell her our thoughts. We are more bound to read newsfeeds than books. We would rather slide “open” our iphones than go into our nothing-box (tunganga), get idle and be open to the energy required of the moment: which is to stay

still and just breathe, be thankful… and live. Just merely live. Mostly, I only see old people do that nowadays. Tunganga in the park, at a restaurant, at a bus stop. One time I did that in the lunch room and officemates started asking if I was ok. So I pulled out my phone and was forced to scan through my Instagram feeds.

Come on people. Masarap tumunganga. Try it.

Technology… Modern times… Actually it’s a catch-22. Living in this era is both blessing and bane. It is just up to us to draw the line. Sadly, most of us unconsciously become prisoners of these modern advancements. It is unthinkable to imagine how it is to live 50 years from now. I am curious. But I’m already grateful that I have witnessed and have lived to experience the transition of old to the new. Because I am able to appreciate… And longing for those old times, I know how better it is to raise a kid up in these times. I just hope she won’t get lost living among these modern tech-savvy kids.


Sometimes… No make that Most of the time, the best moments in our lives are  the ones spent away from our cellphones. The most postable moments in our lives are actually the ones that don’t make it in our newsfeeds.


November 22, 2014 Posted by | books, learn & unlearn, life, people, ruminations | , , , , , | Leave a comment


(REPOST) Growing up without a cell phone

If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda…

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!

7) There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

The Over 40 Crowd

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Same sentiments like in some of my previous blogs. I may be tech-savvy (meaning I can well adapt to changing times), but I still want the good old days.

And so, as much as I can, I try to raise Achilla up with our old ways and values. She’s 4 years old now but she doesn’t know how to turn on the TV or computer. She knows how to use them though, just not to turn them on and then giving her the chance to be a lazy-assed couch potato all day. And so she spends most of her day writing and drawing using pads, pencils & crayons. She likes doing art and crafts. And lately, being so OC about the way her Lego princess castle was supposed to be built, she has learned that she could actually set all the pieces apart and put them back together in different ways as if renovating it.

Yes she spends a lot of time exploring her creativity and imagination. There are only a few times I let her use my android phone or let her watch cartoons on TV. Of course since she was born in the new age, she should be able to adapt.

Sigh. I miss the good old days of love letters, library, patintero, flowers & paintings, etc. Sana maexperience ni Achilla ang mga ito… Those days where effort was so much rewarded. And so much fullfilling

April 21, 2013 Posted by | family, life, people | , , , | Leave a comment


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Sometimes, you don’t always get what you want. You just want to bury your head in the pillow, hide under the blanket as if it’s one big arm pulling you in for comfort. Sometimes all you want to do is scream, & throw things, like china, & get some kind of temporary thrill from watching them get smashed. But you still want to hide it, like under a loud music so that people won’t hear your cries. Sometimes things get out of hand. One time you are Ms Congeniality, & then Ms Cruella the next coz things get out of control & you just can’t do anything about it. People can just accept you being at your worst, or they can despise you. But then, that just tells you, like right in your face, that they are not your friends anymore. Or not at all from the start. Sometimes though, it’s ok to show the world that you are human. That you get hurt, too. Sometimes, it’s ok to miss the bus, be cheated at, stutter at an important public speech, forget someone’s name, sing out of tune, or with wrong lyrics, get lost, get drunk & say something stupid, accidentally walk in the men’s room, fall from your bed while you sleep, fail at a subject, get cut from an audition, be out-of-place at a party, be hated by an in-law, get your heart broken twice, or thrice, get laughed at, get sneered at, get frowned upon, in your face, or behind your back… It is really ok. Coz sometimes, real stories are stirred from all these realities that leave bruises & callouses in your spirit. And out of those are marks of victories at having overcome them. Albeit. All. Odds.

March 28, 2011 Posted by | learn & unlearn, people, ruminations | | 1 Comment

McQ (17 March 1969 – 11 February 2010)


I am not into fashion. I am not even fashionable. (Heck I’m comfortable wearing anything that is not in the laundry :D—Oh let me rephrase that, I can be comfortable wearing anything even from the laundry. Hahaha like Greg Heffley!) But there was a time that I would watch Fashion TV because of Alexander McQueen. I love how he is so revolutionary, provocative & avant-garde. His shows were usually unforgettable & powerfully expressive.

I was blog-hopping & I just found out that he already passed away. Last year! (That’s how I’ve been so unattached to the fashion world —besides the fact that I don’t have the time to watch TV anymore). May his soul rest in peace… And may he be “reincarnated” so that his legacy doesn’t die with him.

March 5, 2011 Posted by | Blogroll, interests, people | | Leave a comment


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.quezon city.philippines.

Everybody tells tale… It’s just the dead talk more quietly than other people… -Death” –(written on my wall beside a painting of Death, of The Endless.)

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i was a foot away from the Gaiman. and man, kinilabutan ako. he was like a god… uh ok, not really a god, maybe more like a celebrated rock star (one of the chicks there dressed as delirium asked if she could marry him & that counts for a rock star status).

my friend, even with his injured shoulder was able to lift me up just so i could really see him. he also took a picture for me…

dang. too bad i wasn’t able to get a book signed (the guard said the people were already at their doors as early as 5am). but then again, it might be a good thing… coz i really feel i’d freeze alive if he just even say hullo, or worse look me in the eye, then i’d really freeze to death…

yeh, a picture is better…

July 19, 2006 Posted by | people, starstruck | | Leave a comment


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