And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)


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October 14, 2013 Posted by | breakdance, introspect, learn & unlearn, life, love sh*t, rants | , , , , , , , , | Enter your password to view comments.



More than being told you’re beautiful, hot or funny… I think this is the best compliment any girl can ever receive.

May 5, 2013 Posted by | love sh*t | , , , | Leave a comment


I love you.

I love.

I love.

Yes I do still love everything in my life… including my failures, rejections and struggles.

It is only now I understand why those exist.

* * * * * * *


Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You

Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us,
then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us,
then what can stand against?

* * * * * * *

I listen to this song every day. The amount of comfort it gives me is immeasurable.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” – Romans 8:31


April 8, 2013 Posted by | life, love sh*t | Leave a comment

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January 31, 2013 Posted by | life, love sh*t | Enter your password to view comments.


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November 28, 2012 Posted by | Blogroll, life, love sh*t | , , | Enter your password to view comments.


.los angeles.california.usa.

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles” – Jack Kerouac

Ain’t God awesome for giving us this life to live… to madness? Yes even to the point of insanity. Coz this life is overflowing with everything and nothing at the same time… the desire to taste everything and leave nothing untouched.

I’ve said many times that if I am to leave this world, I would be happy to go… Coz I have felt like I have lived different lives, worth different lifetimes. I’ve almost tasted enough. But as I grow older, I always discover that there is so much mooore! So many cultures to immerse in, so many culinary experiences to dig, a lot more cities to step on, so many friends to make & stories to tell among them, so many moments to close your eyes in as you breathe out “Thank you Lord.”

Last night, one of my gay friends expressed a liking at how generally just chill & quiet I am but is actually high-strung and full of energy when right strings are pulled. Haha! I guess that is how I am. I go outside and feast on life with my eyes by default, but when that perfect moment presents itself to get wild and mad about life, I go all out.  That’s what I love about living, there is always a place & space for everything… to complain when there’s not enough sauce on your pasta or if your coffee was not served smolderingly hot; or just let pass when you were ripped off a very cheap fabric from a store that you paid with your credit coz you don’t have the time to go back; to walk the car-emptied but mass-filled EDSA to fight for a cause; to grovel at the feet of a boyfriend and beg him to not leave you coz you know you are gonna wallow in pain and misery for weeks if he does; to cut your hair shorter & shorter until there’s no more to cut so you decide to just get shave it and be bald; to go crazy at a party and dance until dusk with everyone in the room, or with just your own self; to do an all-nighter with a friend while parked at the UP Sunken Garden and decide to watch the sun rise and do cartwheels before you head home to your bed; to make a fool of yourself in the biggest dance battle you could ever join in, but eventually learn from the best people you could ever learn from; to borrow money, be in debt and join a dance competition just to make noise, but earn a bonus as you’ve put the Philippines on the hip hop map; to brave the storm or wade through the flood just to make peace with someone; to make love as if there’s no tomorrow, or as if tonight will never exist again; to prank call all your boyfriends’ flirty friends to make a statement a.k.a. he’s mine; to fall in love with a person and hide it from everyone else because it seemed wrong, then years later shout it out to the world; to fight with someone because that person was out to destroy things or persons that matter to you; to end a friendship because words exchanged are killing you; to drive aimlessly until you hit the beach or the mountains; to converse with a stranger and be able to transport yourself in a different time & place, in his shoes, in his world; to run around the city capturing the scenes, the scents and the magnificence of each corner, each altitude, each intersection, each light post, canal, mailbox, etc.; to get beaten up physically & mentally by a mentor, get mad and scared and eventually realize that this exercise of humility was to show you who you really are and who you are not; to be treated as trash by the people who pays you to entertain them; to be treated as saints by people whom you will want to dance for at no cost; to give birth to the most precious being you could ever lay your eyes on; to thank the Lord and give praise to Him in front of thousands of people who look up to you.

Ahhhhh… so many things to be thankful for, and more things to look forward to.

Burn, baby, burn, and keep it burning until the last emblem of this fire takes you to another lifetime.


December 20, 2011 Posted by | learn & unlearn, life, love sh*t | , , | 1 Comment


(Got this from my Betch Alice)

When he met her and they liked each other a great deal, he heard things better, and in his eyes the lines of the physical world were sharper than before. He was smarter, he was more aware, and he thought of new things to do with his days. He considered activities which before had been vaguely intriguing but which now seemed urgent, and which must, he thought, be done with his new companion. He wanted to fly in lightweight contraptions with her. He had always been intrigued by gliders, parachutes, ultralights and hang-gliders, and now he felt that this would be a facet of their new life: that they would be a couple that flew around on weekends and on vacations, in small aircraft. They would learn the terminology; they would join clubs. They would have a trailer of some kind, or a large van, in which to hold their new machines and supple wings folded, and they would drive to new places to see from above. The kind of flying that interested him was close to the ground – less than a thousand feet above earth. He wanted to see things moving quickly below him, wanted to be able to wave to people below, to see wildebeest run and to count dolphins streaming away from shore. He hoped this was the kind of flying she’d want to do, too. He became so attached to the idea of this person and this flying and this life entwined that he was not sure what he would do if it did not become actual. He didn’t want to do this flying alone; he would rather not do it than do it without her. But if he asked her to fly with him, and she expressed reservations, or was not inspired, would he stay with her? Could he? He decides that he would not. If she does not drive in the van with the wings carefully folded, he will have to leave, smile and leave, and then he will look again. But when and if he finds another companion, he knows his plan will not be for flying. It will be another plan with another person, because if he goes flying close to the earth it will be with her.

-Dave Eggers


August 29, 2009 Posted by | love sh*t | Leave a comment


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February 17, 2009 Posted by | love sh*t | , , | Enter your password to view comments.


“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect — you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human & making mistakes, hold onto her & give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break — her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, & miss her when she’s not there.”
-Bob Marley


August 14, 2008 Posted by | love sh*t | | Leave a comment




don’t you wish you have the luxury of turning in in the middle of something?tired1.jpg

of being at sleep’s beck and call, no matter where you are? tired2.jpg

of surrendering to sandman when he starts to cover you with his dust?tired3.jpg

like.. right.. now..

(pics from the internet)


November 7, 2007 Posted by | love sh*t | Leave a comment

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October 14, 2007 Posted by | attempt at poetry, love sh*t | Enter your password to view comments.





October 9, 2007 Posted by | love sh*t | Leave a comment



            The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected..maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and  in each of them we’ve found each other… and maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come….

             When i look at you, i see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And i know i have spent every life before this one searching for you.. not someone like you.. but you… For your soul and mine must always come together. and then, for a reason neither of us understands, we’ve been forced to say goodbye…

              i would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly a goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life… We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we’ve had before…



September 17, 2007 Posted by | love sh*t | , | Leave a comment


…beauty is reliable only when it’s linked to death or hopelessness, even to evil. Like epileptic Dostevsky, ear-slicing Van Gogh, impotent Dali, homosexual Allen Ginsberg, or movie starlet Frances Farmer, who was thrown into an asylum and lobotomized during the McCarthy witch hunts. Or Irish singer Gavin Friday, who wore thick layers of brightly colored makeup all his life… these people are like wildflowers, bursting with vigor and living and dying alone.

–Nikki/Coco, “Shanghai Baby”


November 19, 2004 Posted by | love sh*t | Leave a comment


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