And I Wander

The birds chirp at this side of the world. :)


.marikina city.philippines.


Life’s Dope Especially When You Live To Battle

20 months ago, i officially lurched myself into bgirlin’. what initially started as a try out session in hopes of reuniting myself with my little friends (Rowan & Alekko Batoctoy) turned into a full-blown commitment of living my days with bruises physically & emotionally… i dove head-on into the world of breakdancing.

it’s like going to school, or having a boyfriend. it’s ALL FUN in the beginning. a basic kick-ballchange 6-steps then a wobbly babyfreeze would seem to bring the house down. you’d even smile at yourself if you put in a little L-kick.

i remember my first day of  breakdance class at Airdance. having just retired from jazz, i had came in wearing spag top & a fit jazz pants. hwehwe! i remember doing footworks in the circle with my feet pointed. heehee, really awkward.

i was one of the lucky ones who started breakdancing under the tutelage of Jayson Cambay, otherwise known as Jmasta, the founder of the premier underground crew in the PI, Battlekrew. it is one of the unwritten or unspoken rules around that if you’ve never jammed with him & his crew, you should forget even calling yourself a bgirl/bboy (well, that works only here in manila).

then i started to be exposed in the bboying world, met a lot of young, really good bboys…  i learned more difficult skills & more complicated footworks, went to jam with bboys in different parts of Luzon, joined & witnessed battles, did some shows, commercials & videos that required breakin’…

as i plunged myself deeper, i began to shut out the world outside. addiction got the better of me, and so there was no life but training, no other thought but how to do swipes, or flares, no reason to be beautiful but for a breakdance show or a battle… then it became frustrating.

it’s not so much because of the physical demand or the vast amount of time required to be really good at it. yun nga nagpapasarap. yun yung masakit na masarap na parte.

as we all know, dancing has been an exposed but very underrated, least venerated & most misunderstood form of art here. you can very well form a group & do a synchronized footworks in tap shoes or perform an adaggio piece with a cat, but you can never own the latest BMW out of that (unless of course you join a group of girls & dance spaghetti). yeh, people can appreciate & give you a round of applause, but they’ll never give you the dough… what more with breakdancing which has been around (albeit underground) for decades? you can be a female who can do barrel turns in full circle with your hands (airtracks) or an 11-year-old kid who can do 17 pirouettes on one hand (90s), but that will never be enough for a noontime or a primetime show (though it’s refreshing to see a lone bboy [David] open Wowowee everyday now)… what’s painful is have this burning passion to spend the rest of your mobile life breakin’ and accepting that you will never get rich doing it. you’ll never even know if you’ll have something to eat the morrow.

for someone who has graduated with high marks, who spent 3 years of rigid training at powerdance, & who wanted to be a NY dancer-writer, you can just imagine the frustrations, the pains… but i don’t wanna complain… masarap naman eh. and i don’t lose hope, especially when i jam with bboys from different parts of the country (& world) & i see this in them: “f*ck it. i just wanna break. watch me do threading airtracks someday“… and in them, you see that there are only 3 basic necessities in life: 1) food & water, 2) bboyin’ gear, 3) a sturdy floor. everything else are icing on a bling bling cake.

ms Nadine, my clairvoyant & spiritual mentor, once told me that i was bound for something grand. i used to imagine myself as a successful Asian dancer in the Big A… and now, i’m thinking, maybe i’m looking too far, or too soon… maybe that something grand is to happen here, in the breakdance scene, in the Philippines… yeah maybe… but i still have a long way to go. a looong way. i’m not even near people like jay, kyxz, ayi & dos who are now already sharing their knowledge to those eager learners. i’m still in the stage where i wanna be one of the dopest, not just here but in the world. (hey nothing’s wrong with dreamin, ya’?)

dreamin’ aside, it’s not so easy to be a bgirl. naku, especially here… if one has lived the life, one would surely encounter a lot of heartaches, rejections, aside from frustrations & injuries. but then again, those things come with the whole package. bgirl/boyin’ wouldn’t be that great without those pains… besides, nothing beats the feeling of sticking a real kick-ass invert for 5 seconds or fluidly threading a chairfreeze…

tis really FUN. amidst the difficulties, bboys & bgirls are almost always laughing. we’re a physical lot, so we’re not afraid to look schoofid & laugh at ourselves. there are even classic inside jokes like “the 4 elements of hiphop”, jologs’ horseplays on & off the floor, dj’s “aero class”, the ninjas in action, the biters who hate biters… there are also little bboys who don’t fail to amuse us like moki/mokong of sampaloc & “the atomic” benok of taguig.

it’s really not bad, y’know. someday, when breakdance becomes mainstream (like duh?), i’d be glad to say that i’ve lived IT. i can say that bboys & bgirls are among the unregarded olympians & soldiers of this time, in the underground world. mad props to y’all: the beginners in airdance, bboys from every part of the country (taguig, pasay, pasig, laguna, sampaloc, marikina, marinduque, etc.), battlekrew, zerogravity-taguig; my fellow bgirls una, eyevee, grind, shaker, bea, alekko, j9, jhayem; my mentors & “idolz” jay, kyxz, maya, art, stretch, ayi; the amboys peter, matt, diego, christian, rich, sal, mark, and mouse.


May 23, 2005 - Posted by | breakdance, introspect | , , , ,


  1. Hello! XD

    Comment by Alekko | May 4, 2009

  2. Couldn’t have said it better myself! This was a really nice thing to read. And coming from somebody I’ve looked up to immensely for so long, it’s humbling to see this. I especially liked that part where you talk about how unsure a future would be with dancing. Even if people know this, they still dance for the heck of it. And that is what I admire in a lot of dancers, especially you guys.

    People already know you and you’ve inspired a lot of young people like me to just go for it. I think that in itself is something worth a pat on the shoulder. Keep inspiring! ^^

    Comment by Ann | August 5, 2010

  3. grabe toh! now ko lang toh nabasa kong hindi pako pumunta sa page ni jay!:)) astig!! hindi pa kita masyadong kilala nito kasi wen i first saw you, i only knew babay freeze!! hahahhaa!!!:)) anyweiz, im really inspired wt what yah wrote!:)) God bless!!

    Comment by frostyle | August 5, 2010

  4. Ann, thank you! Yes sometimes you just gotta dive in head on if you really love something, coz that’s the only way to see if it’s really meant for you.

    CL, haha ibang community din kse yung airdance dati. 🙂

    Comment by calvinswife | August 7, 2010

  5. Wow.. galing po. I look up to you as bgirl and a writer. Galing.. hehe :)))

    Comment by Lei | September 10, 2010

  6. Thank you Lei. See yah around! 🙂

    Comment by calvinswife | September 27, 2010

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Sloppy Etymology

"Do we simply stare at what is horrible and forgive it?" - Richard Siken

A Fullness in Brevity - Adam Byatt

Flash Fiction and Other Literary Treats

Full Of Roses Inspirationals

Christian inspirational photography and poetry

%d bloggers like this: