SABI NI MARTHA GRAHAM, HOLY GROUND

This was my status in Facebook:

“We should take time to learn the foundations, maybe in class… but it is important too that we do not forget where all this came from. the STREETS. & the CLUBS. “

I got 2 interesting replies. One from my cousin in Minnesota, “That sounds like something Toni Basil said on ‘So You Think You Can Dance.’” And one from Tolo, “nope doesnt sound like toni basil.. it sounds like a bboy from the 60s telling a story how they rule the streets and how they rule the clubs..”

Of course. I learned this from meeting those Hip Hop Legends, including, yes, Ms Toni Basil. Chelo & I took a lockin’ class in Vegas & she was there right in front of us! Nice lady. She was assisting the 2 Finalists of the World Locking competitions like they were her kids. And she looked gorgeous for her age. She was actually the recipient for this year’s Living Legends Awards by Hip Hop International. When she got up the stage to receive the award, she gave a nice speech about, yes, acknowledging history, where it all started. She even asked Don Campbell & Boogaloo Sam to come up the stage recognizing them as two of hip hop’s pioneers.

That was also the same thing Qwikstep has taught us. (refer to my hiphop page)

Thing is, I’ve been seeing a lot of very good dancers here. Mga matakaw magklase. And they are so lucky to have different studios & teachers to choose from. We didn’t have that back in our days. Now, they can even choose different styles… Madami silang magaling. But there are only a few I could see that really know HOW TO DANCE.

Sometimes though, I feel guilty. I’ve been so hungry & so eager to learn about techniques that I sometimes forget too how to really dance. I’ve forgotten to express. to release. to create. to let go.

I’ve attended Vince’s experimental class last Saturday. I liked it coz I learned a lot about myself. About my weakness. I felt like a drunk-fool. You know how it is when you drink alcohol to loosen up so that you’d be able to talk to people more freely, but then when you start to do it, you realize that you’re just spewing stupid & you’re just fooling yourself that you’re drunk? It felt like that. Like I wanted to let go, express through my body & I felt like I was doing it but my mind kept saying I wasn’t.

I think the real enemy is myself. Utak ko talaga. Sometimes I tend to forget that dancing is not cerebral. Most if the time it’s just physical. It’s just dance. Just you. your. body. &. the. beat.

Oh well. Paminsan minsang sumpong lang ito.

All I know & feel is… I just wana go back to the streets. & do bgirlin’. Like I used to do 4 years ago. When there was still Airdance & we’d go any place where the guards won’t blow their whistles on us. Or in Taguig, when we’d do bboyin’ til 12mn everyday even if we lived all the way North. Or in the clubs when Allstars girls would beat Allstars boys mercilessly. Hahaha.

Makapunta nga dyan sa kanto at magbreykdans.

EDITED: DAY 5

We had our last session with Kwikstep. Some things I remembered from him: Hip hop was commercialized & that underground hip hop didn’t wanna have to do anything with them. That was why commercially, there are “breakdancers” & underground, there are “bboys/bgirls”. There is hip hop taught in the studios, hip hop done on MTV, but the real hip hop is undaground. But for him, it all doesn’t matter what medium you use, but the intention. It is not the moves but the journey towards the movement. You see a jam, but to fully understand it, you cannot record it with a videocam. You record it with your heart/mind.

There are still a lot I have learned but I realized that Kwikstep & all those people we have met here in New York are what keep the movement going. They are the few ones who protect the roots, spread it to the commercially-influenced youth who would not recognize where this all came from if they see it in their faces. Hats off to them for keeping the movement alive.

Then he taught us again some footworks & how to do them with the beat.

After the class ended, Iron Man (of Souljerz) asked if I was really from the Philippines. I said yes, all the way from the P.I. He said he thought I was from around here the first time he saw me. Now that’s what I’m talking about, ha-ha!

Before dusk, under the drizzly weather, we went all the way south to Canal St. & checked out this store, Scrapyard. Canal St. is where they sell all knock-offs of major brands like Rolex, LV, Chanel, RL, etc. Yes, basically like our own Greenhills or Tutuban.

Scrapyard is this little store that sells everything graffiti. I asked if they have some bboy videos & the store owner said that he used to have around 50 of them at a time. But now, everything is on youtube that suppliers stopped giving them. Booo for youtube. Kills the movement.

It’s really funny how a lot of people learn things on youtube. Sabi nga ni Kwikstep, these people only learn the moves, but they don’t learn how to dance with their hearts. True. For me, it’s ok to use youtube as a medium of instruction if you want to learn the basics & history of things. But sometimes, a lot of us, especially in our country COPY everything on youtube. Hindi lang nakakagalit, nakakabobo kaya yung ganun! Coz copying fosters mediocrity & laziness, not to mention, nakakabastos sa mga taong naghihirap mag-isip ng orihinal na ideya. And yes, learning through the internet is a lot worse than learning hip hop in the studio. Nagiging technical lang lahat.

But thing is, I cannot blame them coz those people don’t have the resources, the money to go to a school & learn hip hop. They can’t go to New York to immerse in the culture. Even in Scorben’s country, Lebanon, it’s the same. That was why whenever we meet a bboy, he asksssss as lot of questions. As in, sobra kulit nya hahaha! But then, yun na nga, that is where the line should be drawn. When we have all the facts or all the fundamentals already in our minds, we should let the heart come in. That is when we don’t need youtube anymore. All we need is the music & the beat of our own hearts.

So anyway, before we left Scrapyard, we met this old man, a graffiti artist who were friends with Mr. Wiggles & Ken Swift. Ha-ha, it’s just surreal how I am surrounded with all these people who are friends with this or friend of that, whose names I only read on the internet. Parang ndi pako nasanay already meeting some of them at Worlds. :p

By the way, Ironman said Step Up 3 is being filmed here in New York. Silvia & Mauricio has friends who were in it & were actually inviting them to be in it as crowd but couldn’t coz we were too busy. Awwww. By the way, did you know that Allstars were originally casted for Boogie Town? Laurence was supposed to play the 2nd lead. But we had problems with visa & all that. So there, I digress. :p

DAY 3

At the end of our Hip Hop Dance Program, we will be having an hour performance at the Kennedy Center Millenium Stage. An hour show for just the 6 of us. Some of us were frantic about it coz they think that it will be hard pulling that off considering our number & the amount of time we could rehearse, which is na-da. So last night we started planning it. Since most of us were lead choreographers/directors in our own respective groups in our country, there were arguments as to who will do this, who will do what, how many 8’s, what are the music etc. But the hardest part about it all was actually communicating to each other coz of the language barrier. The 2 Argentinians know little English & Sam from Palestine knows like none. He doesn’t even understand English. So that was the hard part. But dance is language in itself, so these people naturally just gave way & just agreed to what Hien (of Vietnam) wanted to do. He naturally become the leader because he is a bit of a big shot director (who choreographs for most of Vietnam’s famous pop stars).

This morning we started rehearsing to Hien & Scorben (Hassan)’s mixed music. In 2 hours, we were able to do a 2-minute routine. Thank God.

After that was the workshop with Kwikstep of Full Circle. I learned a lot from him about bboyin’ & hip hop on a much deeper level. Kwikstep is one of the few bboys that, on the first meeting, I could already see that lives hip hop. He says that hip hop became expressions of people of color back in the time when they were being opressed. They would take to the streets & move it, or to the wall & paint or mic & rap, etc. These art personified their rage & creativity that was born out of oppression. Today we could see people not just the blacks & the hispanics do hip hop. White, Pinoys, Koreans, you’d see it around the world, thus, he says skill has no color. He said that in cyphers, it is not about the move but the movement of the people you do it for. He taught us how to listen to the beat & dance with it. “It’s not the moves that make you a dancer it’s your spirit.. your soul.”

In the evening, we watched STOMP at the Orpheum Theater. Wow. They made percussions out of mundane objects like brooms, matchboxes, trash bins, Zippo lighters & sink. Yes, as in lababo. Hahaha! I liked the newspaper part the most coz the guy who made a wig out of the newspaper was so funny. & cute hehe! Ang galing ng show! They even made us audience interact. They made us clap some beats & it was difficult! Bow ako sa kanila coz what they do is not easy. They also have ears. I tried doing that alternate clapping 0n the palm, boy was it hard! Ang sakit sa braso! & to think that this guy did it for the whole of his portion.

Today was a lesson of The Beat. & how to follow it.

DAY 2

We went on a Harlem Hip-Hop Walking Tour. We took a subway from 57th to the Museum of New York where we were gathered with 50 other people for the Hush Hip Hop Tour. It was interesting to walk through the mecca of black culture & hearing the history of hip hop through one of the legendary hip hop figures, Rahiem of the Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five–the first hip hop artists to get inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2007. I’ve only read parts of the hip hop history in the internet & it was amazing to experience Harlem & its contribution to hip hop. We passed by some landmarks like:

The Graham court, built in 1901, commissioned by Waldorf Astor, the most luxurious apartment in Harlem, also the setting of some Hollywood movies.

We also checked out the Graffiti Wall of Fame at Park Ave. & E 106 St. which was founded by Ray Rodriguez aka Sting Ray in 1980. Presently, a part of it features the art of Tatcru, the same people who make CD covers of some famous hip hop artists.

We went to a park & experienced 2 of the elements of hip hop which are bboyin’ & rappin’. Rahiem spew some rap & bboy Mighty Mouse demonstrated some moves. Hassan, Mauricio & I did some bboyin’ too.

We ended the tour infront of the legendary Apollo Theater. Opened in 1914 which was formerly a vaudeville House, some famous people have performed there including Michael Jackson. It is still in operation but it is kinda run down now. Along side it is a wall that became an open space to give tribute to the King of Pop. & in the street, there are a lot of peddlers selling Michael Jackson merchandise.

It was soooo tiring but was fun especially that I was able to walk through a neighborhood where 30 or 40 years ago, no other race other than black could walk.

In the evening, we went all the way to Queensbridge Park at Queens & watched Sugarhill Gang! Their CityParks Concerts performance were also a celebration of their 30th anniversary.

It was kinda surreal listening to their songs live coz most of their hits I only hear during bboy sessions. After the concert, us six formed a cypher & provided our own entertainment to the crowd.

DO THAT ISHHHH

I just received the agenda for the Kennedy Center’s Hip Hop Dance program and I’m . (dot) . (dot) . (dot) .

Speechless.

But inside I’m a blissful wreck.

This is so exciting! Me & 6 other emerging artists from different countries will travel to New York, Philadelphia & Washington and…

“Hip-Hop Dance – July 2009

Participants in this program will work with renowned hip-hop dancers, exploring the history of hip-hop culture and dance in the United States. Participants will attend the International Illadelph Legends Festival (Philadelphia, PA) sponsored by Rennie Harris Puremovement. Illadelph takes place over 14 days in July and includes master classes in hip-hop dance, lectures, and demonstrations. This program will take place in Washington, D.C. and Philadelphia, PA during July 2009.”

All I can say is I am just so thankful for this opportunity. I didn’t think I deserved this coz there are a lot of much younger, stronger dancers out there. But as Lema said, this is a gift for me coz I had to stop dancing (as I was carrying Tala) though I didn’t want to.

This program was initially offered to Lema & Sheena by the US Embassy Cultural Affairs Department coz they have worked with them for their outreach program, Hip Hop for Life, where they teamed up with Joel & Rick of Havikoro (from Texas) & held dance workshops for kids of poor families in Davao & Manila. But then Lema was pregnant & Sheena had to train for this year’s World Championships (yeah, rep up the girls Sheens!), so Lema recommended me… And there you go. Thank you Mama Lems! *mwah*

I’m really so excited not only because I will finally get to travel to one of my dream cities, New York, but also, I will get to immerse myself in the genre that I deny myself of sinking in which is Hip Hop.  Coz I always thought of myself as a Rakista, in thought, in fashion & in music. I would always think that I just dance hip hop & that’s it. I don’t even talk the talk or walk the walk once I get out of the dance studio or the stage.

But then, here it is, beckoning me to get to know him. It is not enough that I dance it. I have to observe, absorb & learn the foundation, it’s roots. Coz this will ultimately make me a better hip hop dance artist.

CRAVING

It had been hard for me keeping up with the group in dance after my maternity leave. But after weeks of hard work & perseverance, it was like I never stopped for 6 months. I got back into my pre-pregnancy shape, I could do some of my old bgirl moves again, and (as if this is the gauge of my strength) I could do round-off back handspring again! Ha-ha!

But I ain’t content. I wanted to be as strong as before I got pregnant, even better. I wanted more training. I wanted classes & workshops. I want ALL my old moves back. I want my flexibility back! (I lost a lot of clacium that sometimes I feel that my brittle bones were gonna break down during stretching)… But then I had to give way to summer classes & teach kids. That was why, even though teaching, training with Allstars & being a mom were already physically exhausting, workshops with Lenny (hip hop), Profo Won & Rob Nasty (breakdance), Prince (funk), Julie & Charles (jazz) were such welcome breaks for me.

Then Allstars had to concentrate for the Worlds so classes were not allowed in our sked.

Then something was laid before me that made me just wanna drop on my knees & thank heavens! An answered prayer! I was chosen to participate in the Kennedy Center’s Program for Hip Hop Dance! Woohooo, my own plate of classes for 2 weeks! What more can I ask?! (Sorry for the exclamation marks. I am just really so extatic. ) All I have to do is gobble it all up, let it sink into my system & hope that I’ll be a better dancer than I aim to be.

WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?

I am a dancer.

SOLES

Booo for my dansneakers. I went to Airdance’ company class yesterday (my first jazz class after a looong time). In the middle of an across-the-floor routine, something black came off my foot when I did a jete. When I looked back I realized it was a my sole. Hahaha! I left a part of my sole on the flo’. Tsk. Ang mahal pa naman nito. Tagal ko kasi di nagamit. But I think it’s the reason why it’s so comfortable for dancer’s feet. Coz of those soft unsturdy soles. It’s not even coz of the prolonged un-used. Coz I remember, we’d spend some time before class covering our shoes with Leukoplasts to extend their lifespan.

hello mr. quikie?

SHOUT OUT TO BESTFRIEND

Good Lord! He saved our *sses off yesterday during our ASAP performance. This is the only time we were glad that TV cameramen does those tricks (We are usually pissed coz they don’t know how to take really nice angles of dance performances. They should watch ABDC & learn. ). What happened? S-e-c-r-e-t!!! Hehehe! Only us, the live audience, the ASAP stars & crew know what happened.

Thank you Best Friend! Grabe, He’s really got our backs!

IN HER WOMB: CONFESSIONS OF A DANCING FETUS

I am as headstrong as my momma. There have been a lot of instances when my health was in jeopardy because of her stubborness. But that is just the way she is, & I may grow up to be like her, or like my daddy who’s her exact opposite ! But then, being stubborn can also mean loyalty, or steadfastness, or sticking with someone til the end, no matter what. Somehow I am like her coz I’ve stuck with her from the time she almost lost me, to the time that she embraced me with fervour like a child not letting go of her first doll.

Pregnancy came to her like a thief in the night. She was not ready; she didn’t want me. But who would be, if you’re a dancer who started pretty late & it seemed you’re going against time coz even if dance is always there for you, it does not wait. That and the circumstances that brought her in this state made her in denial in the first few days. She didn’t tell anyone, thinking, even praying that she was only dreaming. As the mind can take on things to happen, she was hoping that the mind can make things UNhappen. But it’s there. As cold as the truth can be on a midsummer night that will just send chills down your spine like an unwanted news.

She was in the middle of a summer workshop and was teaching two junior classes. She had to give up the beginners class she was handling coz that required her to jump around, and run after all those little kids who had shorter attention span than she has lest she’d have a miscarriage. She was so glad that she could keep the other class, the more advanced kids to whom she could just teach something like LA style.

When I was 2 months in her womb, it was the time of their first choreographers’ showcase. It was heartbreaking for her to know that she might not dance at all. She wanted to. She thought she could. She was only in her 1st trisem after all. Her tummy wouldn’t show til the 5th or 6th month. She would force Ken to cast her in his dance or would learn Lema’s piece. But they won’t allow her to dance for them. She would be irritated at how they seemed to know better when it was her own body at stake. Eventually she realized they really do know better. She didn’t know that the 1st trisem is the most crucial stage in pregnancy coz during that time I was still made mostly of blood. If she’d have spotting, I might have gone with those blood too. This and more she learned from her OB. And to her she listened. So she followed her advice and not dance… no matter how much she wanted to dance for Kenjhons, for Lema, & for Prince, and to do bgirlin’ for Kyxz.

She couldn’t perform but at least she could still choreograph! She thought of working with people whom she could draw joy & inspiration from, who could divert her from the painful fact that she couldn’t step on the stage… the kids. Allen, Charles, Gabi, Joey, Margaux, Trish, Dapdap, Tisha, & the rest kept her sanity for the rest of the rehearsal days. Good news came as the concert went near; she was given a chance to be part of Kyxz’ & Vince Mendoza’s pieces. She got a “cameo” role as the mother fairy for Kyxz’ Hybrid, and one of the “chorus” for Vince’ Paliguan. It made her happy. Sobra. That and the fact that the concert was a success. She was able to perform on the stage after all in her 3rd month.

Then it was time for training for the World Championship. It was a good thing that her group has already voted (all-boys) for the top people who would carry the burden of the competition (hehehe!). But then all of them were still required by Ken to train. It was a blessing in disguise that I was in my momma’s womb coz she was excused in jogging! Oh how she hated jogging. Though Ken usually isolates her & was given her own pace apart from the group coz of her asthma, it was still an excuse not to wake up early in the morning & jog. But she was there during training in the studio. Expectant moms in their late 1st trisem usually get exhausted easily, so a lot of times, after joining them for a few minutes of dancing, she would lie down on the sofa & just watch. During those times, a wide space on the sofa was what comforted her, more than the dance space she so much craved as a bgirl. She would rather nap or just sit for hours. I guess that was how I took a lot of her energy & nutrients.

When I was 4 months in her belly, her 2nd trisem, she got back her energy & had more! There were gigs where she’d specifically ask Lema to let her join and lie to her & to others that it’s ok for her to dance. She remembers what her OB said, “Ok you can dance but when you start spotting, please stop ok? Or you’ll lose your baby.” That was what she was thinking. As long as there was no pain or spotting, sige lang. During those times, she did liftings with Reagan in their Hide & Sick choreo, she did her usual footworks in her solo bgirl part (except for the headspin), she did a 60’s ballroom dance, and an all girl choreo for an Adidas gig wherein nakipagsabayan sha sa mga bata … and it took a toll on her. There was a time that she had a UTI and was brought to the ER. She was given an antibiotic. But she continued dancing again as soon as she felt she could move again. Then she went to her OB for a check-up and she found out that, because of the infection & her activities, she had a threatened pre-term labor. She nearly lost me coz her cervix was opening up & she had contractions. The OB more than ordered, but pleaded her to stop dancing. Alang alang sakin. She was made to stay in bed, confined to the 4 corners of her room. Two weeks of bed rest.

Those 2 weeks were the most difficult part of her pregnancy. Her UTI got worse & it gave her early contractions. She couldn’t walk or even stand up. Her only breaks away from her bed was when she had to go to the rest room and she had to be carried. During those times, my daddy took care of her almost 24/7. My daddy was, in those times, our hero… This was the point that she had accepted that she had to give way to me. That her dance had to give way to motherhood. She had finally let go.

When it was time for her & her group to travel to US for the World Championship, she was well & able & was given permit to fly. Being a pregnant Allstar that time was a totally different experience for her (in the first 2 years, she was a competitor & in their 3rd she was one of the assistants or “yaya’s” ). This year, she was just like a ghost that could go in, past, out, up or above . She had the license to just watch, follow them around, ignore them, cheer with them, take pictures… She could do anything she wanted to do! But of course she didn’t take advantage of that. She still took her responsibility of managing their finances for food & lodging.  She enjoyed this year’s championship and more than that, her team claimed the Gold again. Sabi nila swerte ang buntis. But then they deserved it & they’d point up to BestFriend for all the glory. Cheers, I’m a champion baby!

I was 6 months in her belly when her group went home. She stayed in the US with her family. It was a hard decision, or fact for her to accept: staying where her family can take care of her. Coz she was thinking all along that it sucks to be a pregnant Allstar after winning Championships. Even though she couldn’t dance, she just wanted to follow them around.  I guess once an obstinate woman, forever an obstinate one. But she eventually gave in to the idea that she can just live vicariously through them as they celebrate their victories in the PI.

In those first few days that she got physically separated from the group, she was like in a limbo. She didn’t know what to do. She was suddenly left with nothing. Usually, when she’s in the US, she’d attend dance classes, or attend bboy sessions & competitions. But in her state, she couldn’t. She was like spaced-out for days. She couldn’t even just watch dance videos on youtube coz it only fed her hunger for dance. She began to divert her attention to things that she hasn’t done in a long time like reading, writing, learning photoshops, painting, learning different languages & brushing up on her sign language. She also played a lot with her nephews & spent quality time with her family! Viola, there was a lot to do after all!

I’m 7mos old now & momma’s doing well. She is just excited to go back dancing as a mom. They said a dancer changes in some ways after giving birth. Aside from the physical changes it takes on her, somehow motherhood matures her. The irreversible physical damage on her body she doesn’t mind coz she has long accepted that in the first place, she didn’t have the perfect “dancer’s body”; her shoulders & hips are too narrow, her arms too long, her height too small, her back too straight (scoliotic) and her lungs too weak (asthmatic). That was why she has grown to love breakdancing coz it embraces a dancer more with whatever body structure he/she has than jazz/ballet. It just boils down to how aggressive you train & how takaw you are with conditioning. And mommy’s like that.

Nowadays, as my mom has stopped dancing, I kinda miss the feeling of somersaulting in her womb. I was used to her moving about, doing floorworks almost like writhing on the floor, practicing her flips, jumpin’ around. Now with only the threadmill walk as her exercise, mas malikot pa ako! I even wake her up in the middle of the night coz i had to stretch my legs & the womb is getting smaller & smaller for me. But we both don’t mind this coz in 8weeks, I’ll be out. Who knows, I might be following my mom & dad’s footsteps & be World Champs! But we’ll never know. Just like my momma never imagined she’d be in the dance world, to think that it was an alien world to her when she was 23 (my momma has never danced in her life before that). So who knows.