EDITED: DAY 5

We had our last session with Kwikstep. Some things I remembered from him: Hip hop was commercialized & that underground hip hop didn’t wanna have to do anything with them. That was why commercially, there are “breakdancers” & underground, there are “bboys/bgirls”. There is hip hop taught in the studios, hip hop done on MTV, but the real hip hop is undaground. But for him, it all doesn’t matter what medium you use, but the intention. It is not the moves but the journey towards the movement. You see a jam, but to fully understand it, you cannot record it with a videocam. You record it with your heart/mind.

There are still a lot I have learned but I realized that Kwikstep & all those people we have met here in New York are what keep the movement going. They are the few ones who protect the roots, spread it to the commercially-influenced youth who would not recognize where this all came from if they see it in their faces. Hats off to them for keeping the movement alive.

Then he taught us again some footworks & how to do them with the beat.

After the class ended, Iron Man (of Souljerz) asked if I was really from the Philippines. I said yes, all the way from the P.I. He said he thought I was from around here the first time he saw me. Now that’s what I’m talking about, ha-ha!

Before dusk, under the drizzly weather, we went all the way south to Canal St. & checked out this store, Scrapyard. Canal St. is where they sell all knock-offs of major brands like Rolex, LV, Chanel, RL, etc. Yes, basically like our own Greenhills or Tutuban.

Scrapyard is this little store that sells everything graffiti. I asked if they have some bboy videos & the store owner said that he used to have around 50 of them at a time. But now, everything is on youtube that suppliers stopped giving them. Booo for youtube. Kills the movement.

It’s really funny how a lot of people learn things on youtube. Sabi nga ni Kwikstep, these people only learn the moves, but they don’t learn how to dance with their hearts. True. For me, it’s ok to use youtube as a medium of instruction if you want to learn the basics & history of things. But sometimes, a lot of us, especially in our country COPY everything on youtube. Hindi lang nakakagalit, nakakabobo kaya yung ganun! Coz copying fosters mediocrity & laziness, not to mention, nakakabastos sa mga taong naghihirap mag-isip ng orihinal na ideya. And yes, learning through the internet is a lot worse than learning hip hop in the studio. Nagiging technical lang lahat.

But thing is, I cannot blame them coz those people don’t have the resources, the money to go to a school & learn hip hop. They can’t go to New York to immerse in the culture. Even in Scorben’s country, Lebanon, it’s the same. That was why whenever we meet a bboy, he asksssss as lot of questions. As in, sobra kulit nya hahaha! But then, yun na nga, that is where the line should be drawn. When we have all the facts or all the fundamentals already in our minds, we should let the heart come in. That is when we don’t need youtube anymore. All we need is the music & the beat of our own hearts.

So anyway, before we left Scrapyard, we met this old man, a graffiti artist who were friends with Mr. Wiggles & Ken Swift. Ha-ha, it’s just surreal how I am surrounded with all these people who are friends with this or friend of that, whose names I only read on the internet. Parang ndi pako nasanay already meeting some of them at Worlds. :p

By the way, Ironman said Step Up 3 is being filmed here in New York. Silvia & Mauricio has friends who were in it & were actually inviting them to be in it as crowd but couldn’t coz we were too busy. Awwww. By the way, did you know that Allstars were originally casted for Boogie Town? Laurence was supposed to play the 2nd lead. But we had problems with visa & all that. So there, I digress. :p

DAY 3

At the end of our Hip Hop Dance Program, we will be having an hour performance at the Kennedy Center Millenium Stage. An hour show for just the 6 of us. Some of us were frantic about it coz they think that it will be hard pulling that off considering our number & the amount of time we could rehearse, which is na-da. So last night we started planning it. Since most of us were lead choreographers/directors in our own respective groups in our country, there were arguments as to who will do this, who will do what, how many 8’s, what are the music etc. But the hardest part about it all was actually communicating to each other coz of the language barrier. The 2 Argentinians know little English & Sam from Palestine knows like none. He doesn’t even understand English. So that was the hard part. But dance is language in itself, so these people naturally just gave way & just agreed to what Hien (of Vietnam) wanted to do. He naturally become the leader because he is a bit of a big shot director (who choreographs for most of Vietnam’s famous pop stars).

This morning we started rehearsing to Hien & Scorben (Hassan)’s mixed music. In 2 hours, we were able to do a 2-minute routine. Thank God.

After that was the workshop with Kwikstep of Full Circle. I learned a lot from him about bboyin’ & hip hop on a much deeper level. Kwikstep is one of the few bboys that, on the first meeting, I could already see that lives hip hop. He says that hip hop became expressions of people of color back in the time when they were being opressed. They would take to the streets & move it, or to the wall & paint or mic & rap, etc. These art personified their rage & creativity that was born out of oppression. Today we could see people not just the blacks & the hispanics do hip hop. White, Pinoys, Koreans, you’d see it around the world, thus, he says skill has no color. He said that in cyphers, it is not about the move but the movement of the people you do it for. He taught us how to listen to the beat & dance with it. “It’s not the moves that make you a dancer it’s your spirit.. your soul.”

In the evening, we watched STOMP at the Orpheum Theater. Wow. They made percussions out of mundane objects like brooms, matchboxes, trash bins, Zippo lighters & sink. Yes, as in lababo. Hahaha! I liked the newspaper part the most coz the guy who made a wig out of the newspaper was so funny. & cute hehe! Ang galing ng show! They even made us audience interact. They made us clap some beats & it was difficult! Bow ako sa kanila coz what they do is not easy. They also have ears. I tried doing that alternate clapping 0n the palm, boy was it hard! Ang sakit sa braso! & to think that this guy did it for the whole of his portion.

Today was a lesson of The Beat. & how to follow it.

DAY 2

We went on a Harlem Hip-Hop Walking Tour. We took a subway from 57th to the Museum of New York where we were gathered with 50 other people for the Hush Hip Hop Tour. It was interesting to walk through the mecca of black culture & hearing the history of hip hop through one of the legendary hip hop figures, Rahiem of the Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five–the first hip hop artists to get inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2007. I’ve only read parts of the hip hop history in the internet & it was amazing to experience Harlem & its contribution to hip hop. We passed by some landmarks like:

The Graham court, built in 1901, commissioned by Waldorf Astor, the most luxurious apartment in Harlem, also the setting of some Hollywood movies.

We also checked out the Graffiti Wall of Fame at Park Ave. & E 106 St. which was founded by Ray Rodriguez aka Sting Ray in 1980. Presently, a part of it features the art of Tatcru, the same people who make CD covers of some famous hip hop artists.

We went to a park & experienced 2 of the elements of hip hop which are bboyin’ & rappin’. Rahiem spew some rap & bboy Mighty Mouse demonstrated some moves. Hassan, Mauricio & I did some bboyin’ too.

We ended the tour infront of the legendary Apollo Theater. Opened in 1914 which was formerly a vaudeville House, some famous people have performed there including Michael Jackson. It is still in operation but it is kinda run down now. Along side it is a wall that became an open space to give tribute to the King of Pop. & in the street, there are a lot of peddlers selling Michael Jackson merchandise.

It was soooo tiring but was fun especially that I was able to walk through a neighborhood where 30 or 40 years ago, no other race other than black could walk.

In the evening, we went all the way to Queensbridge Park at Queens & watched Sugarhill Gang! Their CityParks Concerts performance were also a celebration of their 30th anniversary.

It was kinda surreal listening to their songs live coz most of their hits I only hear during bboy sessions. After the concert, us six formed a cypher & provided our own entertainment to the crowd.

DO THAT ISHHHH

I just received the agenda for the Kennedy Center’s Hip Hop Dance program and I’m . (dot) . (dot) . (dot) .

Speechless.

But inside I’m a blissful wreck.

This is so exciting! Me & 6 other emerging artists from different countries will travel to New York, Philadelphia & Washington and…

“Hip-Hop Dance – July 2009

Participants in this program will work with renowned hip-hop dancers, exploring the history of hip-hop culture and dance in the United States. Participants will attend the International Illadelph Legends Festival (Philadelphia, PA) sponsored by Rennie Harris Puremovement. Illadelph takes place over 14 days in July and includes master classes in hip-hop dance, lectures, and demonstrations. This program will take place in Washington, D.C. and Philadelphia, PA during July 2009.”

All I can say is I am just so thankful for this opportunity. I didn’t think I deserved this coz there are a lot of much younger, stronger dancers out there. But as Lema said, this is a gift for me coz I had to stop dancing (as I was carrying Tala) though I didn’t want to.

This program was initially offered to Lema & Sheena by the US Embassy Cultural Affairs Department coz they have worked with them for their outreach program, Hip Hop for Life, where they teamed up with Joel & Rick of Havikoro (from Texas) & held dance workshops for kids of poor families in Davao & Manila. But then Lema was pregnant & Sheena had to train for this year’s World Championships (yeah, rep up the girls Sheens!), so Lema recommended me… And there you go. Thank you Mama Lems! *mwah*

I’m really so excited not only because I will finally get to travel to one of my dream cities, New York, but also, I will get to immerse myself in the genre that I deny myself of sinking in which is Hip Hop.  Coz I always thought of myself as a Rakista, in thought, in fashion & in music. I would always think that I just dance hip hop & that’s it. I don’t even talk the talk or walk the walk once I get out of the dance studio or the stage.

But then, here it is, beckoning me to get to know him. It is not enough that I dance it. I have to observe, absorb & learn the foundation, it’s roots. Coz this will ultimately make me a better hip hop dance artist.

THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN POINT A & POINT B

Happy 2 Years of Bboyin’ to ME!

i actually don’t wanna go home to bboyin’ in the PI. it sucks. after all i’ve experienced, read, watched, after meeting a lot of ‘em bboys greater than PI bboys will ever be, after consuming a lifetime worth of bits & nuggets about what every bboy’s framework should be, i DREAD going home to them. THEM condescending & overbearing ones who look up to no one but themselves. i DREAD to look in their eyes & see not fervour to upgrade themselves for bboyin’s sake but the feverish attempt to better themselves for, uh, their OWN’s sake.

i worry about the other seemingly lesser but much much more superior bboys. but, i dunno, as far as i know, if guided, they won’t be as sama & as evil (hehe pareho lang yun ah!) as them. i bet they would just say (aboout bboyin’ in the PI), “IT SUCKS.”

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had lots of compliments about my LJing (or blogging/web blogging). sometimes it flatters me, other times it makes me uncomfortable. i initially wanted to write incognito. but then there had been this group that i wanted to update my life about so i put it in existence, y’know labelled or marked existence. it was fun at times. but sometimes, just like what i am in person, i just want to be invisible. i just wanna be just that person sitting in the corner that sees everything from the most trivial to the most noteworthy & extraordinary. the looker, the observer… the one that was ignored. the one that was not attended to, the one that was free. but as this got into its full existence, had friends & became famous, the hand that weaves its words changed too… the thoughts were edited, the words were controlled, emotions were drafted with caution.

it was not anymore to please myself.
it doesn’t live up to its own purpose.
it isn’t free no more.
the life of it has ceased to exist.

maybe it’s really the time & the vastness of it that i have that i’m able to spend here. back home, the lack of access to the ‘net has always just given me a sounding board for things that matters more…. or maybe it’s the thought that i know that they know that i know, err, that i’m read. back then, under disguise i had the gigil to pour out anything without looking over my shoulder, & spew undiluted thoughts…

is it really its existence that is questioned? is it having a life-crisis?… or it it merely a reflection of its owner’s own existence?

* * * * * * *

what are you talking about?

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walang pakialamanan.

* * * * * * *

there are doors that are closed as new ones are opened.

there are doors that are closed but are not locked.

there are doors that wait fot the right person to open it.

there are doors that are unused but its beauty deems much much more essential than its function.

and there are doors that are kept ajar forever.

coz some people are just plain doltish to notice that a door is not a wall.

6TH IN THE WORLD, 1ST IN THEIR HEARTS

i posted this in friendster:

“sup, we’re still here in LA… so happy to tell you that filipinos are now respected & admired by a lot of dancers, the best in the hiphop world. tis swell. no words to describe it. sarap lang… when all these people come up to us & say “i’m half,” and they say it with so much pride. even black people from UK & trinidad&tobago telling us, “we’re filipinos,” when clearly they aren’t, just showing us how we earned their respect…

we really represented. so damn proud to be part of ALLSTARS.

btw, we could’ve bagged the bronze medal, but a lot has happened like competing without eating the whole day… well, that’s another story. kitakits nlang dyan sa pinas.

pinoy ako. peace!”

a lot of stories to tell, so little space, so little time, plus i’m tinatamad na. just wanna say that the whole hiphop world now has mad respect to filipinos. i’m so proud of us, and of THE CREW as well.

* * * * * * *

though we didn’t get the title, twas like we’ve won coz we were still treated like champions by all these people who kept on popping out of nowhere to accomodate & feed us for the rest of our stay here. after the competition, we were hauled out of LA to San Diego by a limo (yeh, baybeeh, like hollywood stars!) & were nested in the crib of mr. Floyd Evangelista of E Real Records. loads of grats to him & his wife… they’re still taking care of the rest of ALLSTARS, while i am i are having a blissful time at my ‘rents house back in LA. =)

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we went to a bboyin’ event called the Topdog… wow. that’s all i can say. from 12nn to 9pm, we were surrounded with bboys & bgirls from all over the US (yes, including Alaska) & my head just ached & i got so much dizzy watching a lot of ‘em good bboys. imagine watching a big roomful of battlekrew & zerogravity bboys times 10. dang. there were like 5 open circles at a time you just wanna sit down & just watch the one in front of you & you still wouldn’t miss a kick ass move.

though this was not as big as freestyle session or mighty4, twas still an exhilirating experience seeing these dope bboys in person. there were sightings of kujo, tough rock, ruen, primate, LA breakers, freakazoids, etc. the only downside was the absence of mah best bgirls like asia1, abgirl, beta…

this experience has kinda mellowed me a bit as a bgirl. i mean, i’m real hotblooded when it comes to the bboyin’ scene in the PI, especially with the ish between this ugh-god-forgive-him bboy & us. i think it doesn’t matter anymore if you become the best, or if your crew remains 1 out there. f*ck it. f*ck all that shit. magsawa sila kakahamon, wala naman silang mapapala. all that matters is that there is passion in what we do, & in that passion should be an attitude to inspire & to share. that’s all that matters… as what did ever since, in the beginning, when we were all just discovering…

I BREAK, THEREFORE I AM

***something i wrote in my notebook while waiting for the choreographer to call me… been rehearsing for a show; i was reunited with my 1st lab, jazz. wehehe… this is one of those times when i go into deep ruminations (err redundant) & kinda go over how my life has been treating me lately (or should it be the other way around, how i’ve been treating my life?)… being in breakdance for more than a year, & now going back to jazz–it’s like you’re this most sought after most successful teen star, then some nosy gossip columnist whose soul is already sold to the devil found out that you were a battered child or that you already had two kids before you graduated high school or that you spent your formative years in a rehab, then you’d have to face your past, deciding that you can’t deny it coz you wouldn’t be where you are in the first place and… uh yah, napalayo yata ako…***

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Life’s Dope Especially When You Live To Battle

(through the eyes of the eldest bgirl, who can afford the life, who has a bboy for a boyfriend, and who aims of getting it on… in heels!)

20 months ago, i officially lurched myself into bgirlin’. what initially started as a try out session in hopes of reuniting myself with my little friends (Rowan & Alekko Batoctoy) turned into a full-blown commitment of living my days with bruises physically & emotionally… i dove head-on into the world of breakdancing.

it’s like going to school, or having a boyfriend. it’s ALL FUN in the beginning. a basic kick-ballchange 6-steps then a wobbly babyfreeze would seem to bring the house down. you’d even smile at yourself if you put in a little L-kick.

i remember my first day of  breakdance class at Airdance. having just retired from jazz, i had came in wearing spag top & a fit jazz pants. hwehwe! i remember doing footworks in the circle with my feet pointed. heehee, really awkward.

i was one of the lucky ones who started breakdancing under the tutelage of Jayson Cambay, otherwise known as Jmasta, the founder of the premier underground crew in the PI, Battlekrew. it is one of the unwritten or unspoken rules around that if you’ve never jammed with him & his crew, you should forget even calling yourself a bgirl/bboy (well, that works only here in manila).

then i started to be exposed in the bboying world, met a lot of young, really good bboys…  i learned more difficult skills & more complicated footworks, went to jam with bboys in different parts of Luzon, joined & witnessed battles, did some shows, commercials & videos that required breakin’…

as i plunged myself deeper, i began to shut out the world outside. addiction got the better of me, and so there was no life but training, no other thought but how to do swipes, or flares, no reason to be beautiful but for a breakdance show or a battle… then it became frustrating.

it’s not so much because of the physical demand or the vast amount of time required to be really good at it. yun nga nagpapasarap. yun yung masakit na masarap na parte.

as we all know, dancing has been an exposed but very underrated, least venerated & most misunderstood form of art here. you can very well form a group & do a synchronized footworks in tap shoes or perform an adaggio piece with a cat, but you can never own the latest BMW out of that (unless of course you join a group of girls & dance spaghetti). yeh, people can appreciate & give you a round of applause, but they’ll never give you the dough… what more with breakdancing which has been around (albeit underground) for decades? you can be a female who can do barrel turns in full circle with your hands (airtracks) or an 11-year-old kid who can do 17 pirouettes on one hand (90s), but that will never be enough for a noontime or a primetime show (though it’s refreshing to see a lone bboy [David] open Wowowee everyday now)… what’s painful is have this burning passion to spend the rest of your mobile life breakin’ and accepting that you will never get rich doing it. you’ll never even know if you’ll have something to eat the morrow.

for someone who has graduated with high marks, who spent 3 years of rigid training at powerdance, & who wanted to be a NY dancer-writer, you can just imagine the frustrations, the pains… but i don’t wanna complain… masarap naman eh. and i don’t lose hope, especially when i jam with bboys from different parts of the country (& world) & i see this in them: “f*ck it. i just wanna break. watch me do threading airtracks someday“… and in them, you see that there are only 3 basic necessities in life: 1) food & water, 2) bboyin’ gears, 3) a sturdy floor. everything else are icing on a bling bling cake.

ms Nadine, my clairvoyant & spiritual mentor, once told me that i was bound for something grand. i used to imagine myself as a successful Asian dancer in the Big A… and now, i’m thinking, mabe i’m looking too far, or too soon… maybe that something grand is to happen here, in the breakdance scene, in the Philippines… yeah maybe… but i still have a long way to go. a looong way. i’m not even near people like jay, kyxz, ayi & dos who are now already sharing their knowledge to those eager learners. i’m still in the stage where i wanna be one of the dopest, not just here but in the world. (hey nothing’s wrong with dreamin, ya’?)

dreamin’ aside, it’s not so easy to be a bgirl. naku, especially here… if one has lived the life, one would surely encounter a lot of heartaches, rejections, aside from frustrations & injuries. but then again, those things come with the whole package. bgirl/boyin’ wouldn’t be that great without those pains… besides, nothing beats the feeling of sticking a real kick-ass invert for 5 seconds or fluidly threading a chairfreeze…

tis really FUN. amidst the difficulties, bboys & bgirls are almost always laughing. we’re a physical lot, so we’re not afraid to look schoofid & laugh at ourselves. there are even classic inside jokes like “the 4 elements of hiphop”, jologs’ horseplays on & off the floor, dj’s “aero class”, the ninjas in action, the biters who hate biters… there are also little bboys who don’t fail to amuse us like moki/mokong of sampaloc & “the atomic” benok of taguig.

it’s really not bad, y’know. someday, when breakdance becomes mainstream (like duh?), i’d be glad to say that i’ve lived IT. i can say that bboys & bgirls are among the unregarded olympians & soldiers of this time, in the underground world. mad props to y’all: the beginners in airdance, bboys from every part of the country (taguig, pasay, pasig, laguna, sampaloc, marikina, marinduque, etc.), battlekrew, zerogravity-taguig; my fellow bgirls una, eyevee, grind, shaker, bea, alekko, j9, jhayem; my mentors & “idolz” jay, maya, art, stretch, ayi; the amboys peter, matt, diego, christian, rich, sal, mark, mouse… and of course, kyxz.