BE-CAUSE

.sylmar.california.usa.

Yes, I am a self-confessed hater. Well, let’s rephrase that coz hate is such a strong emotion. And if Jesus finds this out, he might just ask me to love my enemies. But you see, I do! That is why I hate… I hate the things that they do, which is primarily, spreading more hate. I am a hater… with a  cause.

Actually, I was not like this before. I was not the kind of person that will mind any person’s games, or how they play it. I was not a fan of attacking from the back, or any other side for that matter. This may happen around me & I would give it not a care in the world. Friends/non-friends may talk behind me, relatives may disapprove a relationship, people may criticize the way I talk (which I embrace as one of my weaknesses, thank you!) or my fashion sense (or the lack of it). I was used to these things & I would just shrug them off like a dropped ice cream that you can’t eat anymore, that all you have to do is buy another one… Get the drift? Haha!

I started to care when I became part of groups like Powerdance, Zerogravity (bboy) & Allstars. Oh mehn, I would hear a lot of criticisms against us! Initially, I would not mind them thinking that they just don’t know crap. That they are not inside so they wouldn’t really understand, anyway. When I became part of the Allstars and we kind of made it big, y’know, putting us Pinoys on the map & all that, that was when I really got out there & really faced up. I was not usually like this. I was always a “yes” girl. I have always followed the rules–to a “T”! But then, there are some things we just cannot let pass. We cannot deadma or play keber coz those attitudes are the breeding ground of those who thrive on maligning other people. It becomes too much when you do not only work for yourself anymore, but for the people that matters to you, in this case, the bigger scope of the movement that we have been pushing for ages. Coz those people that hate on us not only show disrespect, but they demean the whole community that (gasp) they are a part of.

I would have loved to name-drop. But that does not matter anymore. In the balance of things, it is really better to keep quiet & attack enemies subliminally in the hopes that they find it in themselves to act on their smear campaigns. Coz like what they say, the more you say “no” to a rebel, the more they do it. But this won’t be a “hate” post without me talking about them.

I have encountered a loooot of haters, but these are those that really got on my/our radar:

1. There was this prominent personality in the hip hop scene that had b*llsh*t-ed us from the beginning (sorry for my word, but that was all he had spewed on us ever since we’ve known him). He was a double-face who would kiss our asses, and then go around spreading bad rumours about us. All I can say is, “Ikaw na ang magaling!” I did say that in his face, mind you. I asked him upfront why he was doing all those things. Of course, he vehemently denied it. I think he always will–up to his grave. Anyway, I have recently come across someone who, it turned out, is a bigger figure in the scene than he was. Only this guy has understandably moved on to things bigger: which is securing his family’s future. There is only one thing he can say about this person: “Claimer.” End of story.
2. I could not really trust anyone if I have heard bad things about a person before meeting him/her. And this is what happened to person #2. I will always believe that she is the reason why most of the people who remained in the group has looked down on the 5 Allstars that left in 2008… and I even think that she had stirred more animosity during the time when we would always fight that eventually led to 3 more Allstars leaving the group last year.
3. There is this group that I have previously wasted a post on. This group has spread malice on young people getting in their group, usually fans of ours that eventually also hated on us. But I could not blame them coz they themselves are merely followers of us… But thing is, I think some of them has had a change of heart. So it’s all good. But I am still wary.
4. A newcomer in the entertainment scene was heard pulling us down. I wrote about him on my FB wall: “I really don’t get how far some people would go to promote themselves… either they name drop or destroy names! Come on, if you’re legit like you say you are, you didn’t have to do that… And we would see you in the underground scene, or at least make a CHANGE in the dance community. It’s 2011 already, ndi na uso ang crab mentality mehn! Make people judge you by who you are and what you have done.” Nuff said.
5. I don’t really dislike this person. But I don’t like him in our circle either. It is not because of the things that I have been hearing about him (from different people, mind you), but there’s just something about him that doesn’t jive with the whole of us. Thing is, I am easily blown away with people with sooo much passion that they leave marks of it both in our hearts & minds. They are the kind of people that I welcome in our circle. No questions asked. But with this person, I feel none of those kind of passion. Zero. Zilch. And I just can’t trust him with our cause. I just can’t. Period.

There are a lot more… But mostly they just become topics that we consume during meetings that we shred to miniscule pieces until we do not talk about them anymore. It’s all the same. We all have haters. We all have people who would love to be in our shoes even if it means showing a facade, and putting on the best foot forward, and their baho behind, but would usually reek when they are outside the circle. We all have people that come to our lives with the wrong intentions. We all have biters & copycats who would project to the rest of the universe that our lives are theirs. But I just would like to think of it that these are all growing pains… What sucks is if people don’t graduate from these stages & the seeds of pride & envy remain in their hearts until they grow old… and then it might be too late for a change.

Interestingly, those aforementioned people are close to us. As in nasa bakod lang namin! I think this is the reason why they seem to matter. Because they be sh*tting in their own backyard. Biting off the hands that feed them. What they do stings us more than any other hurtful, violent, menacing words hurled by fans or supporters because we have given enough time & effort to know them. We have grown with some of them in the underground scene; we’ve been close to them when we were all nobodies! So it was really not hard to feel this way coz, I guess, I was just hopefully keeping them in check.

I am not making it seem that we are over at a pedestal. Like what I said, we all the same, we all are being looked down or envied at one point in our lives. Even Jesus had a loooot of haters, tayo pa kaya. I guess, the best thing to do is to do what Jesus did. Forgive them.

Well, I already did. I am just a fighter for cause. I cannot and do not keep quiet if the calm waters that flow among us all are disturbed. Some people just need some batok!

* for the record: none of those listed are part of the 12 original Allstars.