PAUSE

 .sylmar.california.usa 

Two days ago, the mother of one of my mentors passed away. (RIP) It was months after the husband’s death. For me, it is one of life’s most romantic acts… when you follow your loved-one on to the next life. But I was more worried with tito Dougs. I know that I have never been one of his best students, but he was, among others, my best teacher. More than the techniques & disciplines in dance, he has taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life. And the most important of it all, he had always been the one who has hit my stubborn head & has shaken the core of my non-conforming & non-sympathetic self. Every session of Pro-Jazz was an exercise of humility. More than being humiliated in front of my Seniors & co-Juniors, he had stripped me off my inflated ego, my laziness, & my self-centeredness.

He was also the only one who has told me, in my face, that I have no respect for authority… that I have no respect for my parents. That time, I was mad at him for saying that. Yes I could admit having contempt for authority (being surrounded by buwaya‘s), but no respect for my parents?? Com’own! He hasn’t even met them, how could he have said that! Then as time passed, I would witness how right he was. Everything he was with his parents was everything that I was not. And their passing away was a considerable reminder.

Anyway, I’m thankful that I am given another chance to build a loving & respectful relationship with my mom & dad. After 12 years of being separated with them (as I have recently just emigrated here in the U.S.), I can now be a respectful & loving daughter to them. Gone are those pasaway days when I would answer them like the smart-ass girl that I am. Gone are the days when I would call or email just to surprise them:

• “Ma, I don’t want to work, I want to dance.”
• “Ma, I don’t live in the house anymore.”
• “Dad, I had a tattoo & a tongue pierce.”
• “Ma, I’m pregnant.”

I think I’m done with my ostensibly teenage life (Hello I’m in my 30′s na!); it’s time to follow their lead. Besides, I live in their house… and I myself am a parent now.

Thank you Lord for 2nd chances.